Fear and Relaxation

- "it is said that the relaxation response counters the fear response." She said. Her nails a red woosh through the air as she was gesticulating wildly.

The class scribbled as mad. I had long since stopped taking notes in classes. I found it better to sit perfectly still and just absorb everything. Especially when on my Panophobia "How to handle being afraid of everything" - courses, that were clearly the most helpful ones. Automatically I raised my hand. Her enthusiastic, blue-eyes caught mine, they were so broad it often seemed as if she was keeping them open with force. Her gaze inense upon me, she said "yes, Fran?" Her eyes had just popped down to the sticker on my chest for a split second, yet she said my name as she was used to it.
She was good.

"In what way is it best to stimulate a relaxing emotion to counter a panic attack, or a wave of fear?" I asked. Her face froze a split second, like she was having a hard time understanding what I had just said. Then, as a robot responding just a bit slow to it's commands, her body started moving again. "That definitely depends. It's different from person to person. All kinds of things that are looked at as relaxing for some can be upsetting for others. Like being nude for example". Someone made a squeal on the front row.

- "I see" I said "Thank you". The man on the front row, now hyperventilating, was so loud nobody heard my thanks. Though it didn't matter. I'd have to answer my own question myself. Dr. Howard U. F. Eeling had strictly forbidden me from trying to cure myself from my own phobias. I had attempted once before. When suffering from a very heavy Botanophobia (the fear of plants) I had locked myself into a plant nursery at night. The next week I was at the hospital covered in deep, red wounds after crashing through a greenhouse, screaming.

But this time it was different. After snoring through another hour of Cyberphobia (the fear of working on a/using a computer) - remind me to stop going to them! - I took the bus home. I only passed by a news stand to see if I could catch a glimpse of any job-ads, but I didn't really try. My mind far off, elsewhere. Grey weather today, not very nice at all, still quite warm. I collected my mail and got home. Very thoughtful I stumbled past all the painting equipment spread around my apartment (nearly done now!) and heated up some beef and rice from lunch. I need to find a way to use what I learnt today as a way to potentially cure myself.
I'll definitely go see the doctor again as soon as I have time.