- ring ring?

I really don't know what to say.
Trying hard to get over everthing that had to with Xander (scroll down!) He called me very early this morning. My phone just wouldn't stop ringing, by the time I was digging my head deeper into my pillows I was fully awake. I grabbed it, saw his name across the display. Fuck.
I answered, but didn't say a thing, just listened to his breath.
Clearly drunk his voice seemed to break every second sentence.

"Frannie" he said coarsely "Frannie, baby" he said, I could tell he was drunk. "What the fuck happened Fran? You di-dn't call me!" I swallowed, didn't know if I could say his name without crying. "Fran?" he said. I remained silent. "Are you pissed at me Fran? What's wrong?" I didn't dare to speak, just sat there and listened. I could hear him lick his lips, then bite them. "oh, God, Fran" I was upsetting him. "I should've called you, I'm so-rry" He said, his voice breaking in the middle of his apologize.

- "no" I said, testing my voice. "No, no it's not your fault". Surprisingly I was calm, my voice was steady. "I should've called you Xander, I just didn't have the time. I'm the one who should be sorry". I could hear his cheek touch the phone as he smiled. - "so great to hear your vo-ice" he said, his own voice breaking again. - "ditto" I said, smiling too.

"Where are you?" I asked. - "outside your flat, it's wet here". The rain was splashing down outside my third floor window. I giggled. - "like to borrow my shower?" I said. He laughed. - "if you could be so kind".

He smelled awful as he came in my door, soaked and unshaved. "What have you been doing?!" I asked. Never seen him like that before. - "oh" he said, shrugged, his raincoat squeaked. "you know, not much". I shook my head and let his words hang in the air. - "Xander" I said, but didn't touch him. I was glad he wasn't like my other ex, Liam Smithers, he suffered from Ablutophobia, the fear of bathing. So I let him undress and heard the shower going. So strange to have him back in my flat. - "COULD I BORROW YOUR RAZORS?!" he shrieked from within the shower cabinet. I smiled to myself. - "knock yourself out" I said. I was digging through my closet, trying to find something that might fit him, but there was nothing. "I don't have any dry clothes for you" I said through the bathroom door. - "Get me a towel and I'll be pleased" he said.

And he was.

I made us toast and tea. We just cuddled up together like nothing had ever happened between us. Like it was just a few days ago we spent that weekend in Boxford together. I'm speechless!

Alright, have to go, I have to finish my Alliumphobia "Cure your fear of garlic" - course before I attend that cooking class on wednesday. (iih, excited!)

*Frannie*